But I Neeeeed It

I've started a new thing. I'm budgeting. Why? I thought it was about time. I began wondering how much I could save if I decided to forgo that Starbucks cup of coffee or that wrapping paper that happens to be on super sale. I've curbed my trips to Target and Gap and sadly to Starbucks. It's working. By God, it is really working. Money isn't growing on trees but it suddenly seems like I have more of it. Several days ago, I went into Gap for the first time in almost a month. I came out empty handed. Yes, I found a pair of beautiful black jeans that fit magnificently. I talked myself out of them. It was a proud moment. I also managed to tear myself away from both Baby Gap and Gap Kids with a sense of accomplishment. Usually, I leave there feeling overwhelmed with buyers remorse. My children have more clothes than they know what to do with. I have more clothes than I know what to do with. I think I was somewhat hooked on the rush that I got following a shopping spree. It's sad when you find yourself feeling excited about the gift bag you found on an end cap that happens to be 90% off. Did I need the gift bag? Was there even a birthday in my near future? Usually, no. Instead I would put the gift bag with the rest of my gift bags and then forget about it. I have countless stories like the gift bag story. Replace the gift bag with a candle, a teeny tiny frame that requires a picture to be hacked to death, a ginormous frame that would take up an entire wall, a shirt that looked better on the rack, socks for my 10 year old (like he cares), dvds that are still wrapped in plastic, note cards (I have a drawer that is full of them), Christmas gifts for the next Christmas, and my own personal kryptonite, Gap clothing. I love Gap. Love it. I love the clearance section. I love when they give an extra % off the clearance section. Do I need another sweater? Does Grayson need another shirt that is two shirts in one? Does Daniel need more button down shirts? Does Jake need more pajamas? Okay, no Jake does not need more pajamas but as I was writing that very sentence, I couldn't help but think of a pair that I really want to get him for Easter. They're also super soft. See, I'm doing it again. He doesn't need the pajamas. He has 8 pairs of pajamas. I now feel ashamed after writing that number. He does not need anymore pajamas. The madness stops here.

I started thinking about college. I want to be able to put my kids through college which might include more than the undergraduate years. If I can't, what am I going to tell them? I don't think it will go over well when I say, "Grayson, I can't pay for school but here are some pictures of you in that awesome outfit I bought for your 10th b-day party." or "Jake, I'm sorry about the whole college thing, but at least you had really fashionable pajamas. Did I mention they were soft?" It's utter insanity.

Today, I really enjoyed my cup of coffee that did not come from Starbucks. It tasted sweet, almost of perfection. I think it was a combination of Italian Cream and the satisfaction in knowing I didn't pay $4.30 for it. Next time you go to throw that lovely set of photo albums into your cart (you know, the ones that probably won't get any pictures put in them), just ask yourself one question: Do I need it? Chances are, you only want it or if you want to stoop to a seven year old's rationalization, you neeeeeed it, meaning you only want it. Plant that money tree and one day you might have an entire forest. Note to self, I think I like the sound of that.